Yesterday was the 1-week anniversary of my 2nd-cousin Dave taking his own life. The sadness is not as strong as it was last week, but I still feel very angry with what Dave did:
http://www.heraldtimesonline.com/news/l ... 71edd.html
Two Thursdays ago, I was watching Josh Gates on the Travel Channel speaking with some shady looking characters with elephant tusks in the back of their truck; the next minute, my mom is on the phone crying, wailing "I thought he was happy!". I spent the next day on autopilot, pretending (faking) being okay to my colleagues, whom I did not tell of the death.
I did not go to the service they had for him earlier this week, since work obligations did not allow for it; this is just as well, since the level of anger I felt towards him would not have made me very good company.
To help, I have viewed the Eames Yates documentary and have read the Beverly Cobain co-authored book "Dying to Be Free".
This is not the first time I had experienced a suicide (a family friend took his life when I was younger, due to a nasty divorce), and I had also lost a classmates whose ex-wife had planned to leave with the kids. Still, these did not have the same impact as Dave's death.
I am finding life goes on, keeping myself busy with the regular demands of life.