More resources to help find the "why"?

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More resources to help find the "why"?

Postby asenada » Thu May 21, 2015 2:51 pm

What resources do folks recommend to help understand what someone who was actually looking forward to their life would choose to end it?
It's been almost a month now since my brother took his life, and this is what we are struggling with, trying to understand the "why" when there were no outward signs of depression. I watched the Ted talk video posted above, but it just doesn't quite do it. I need to understand more. If there's a good book that helps get into the mind of that despair, if you think it will help me understand, please reply.
asenada
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Re: More resources to help find the "why"?

Postby Karyl » Mon May 25, 2015 10:33 pm

Ascenda,

I am sorry your brother is gone, and that he died by suicide.

It's natural and normal to ask why after a suicide; we want to find a rational explanation of an act that may not have been based on reason. We are trying to understand something that may be unexplainable and incomprehensible.

We can make guesses as to why, but that's about it most of the time. Even when suicide notes are left behind, they rarely explain the real reason of why.

Can you tell us about your brother and what happened? Do you know of any factors that may have contributed to his suicide?
Karyl
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Re: More resources to help find the "why"?

Postby asenada » Mon May 25, 2015 11:17 pm

Hi Karyl, Thanks for responding. I know that he was exhausted, overworked, and never got enough sleep, and I believe that the exhaustion just got the better of him. There were things in his life he looked forward to, and he even described himself as loving life and he had a hilarious sense of humor. At the same time, he always had trouble making ends meet financially. He had no enemies, and hopefully he understood that he had his family to back him up whenever things got tough. He had just gotten a large rent increase notice and was about to leave for a business trip that might have been causing anxiety.
I won't go into the details of the suicide, but the method seemed odd to me that he would know how to do that technique. So that makes me wonder if he'd done some research in advance. No note left behind. no message of any kind as far as we can tell. no evidence of a hidden life or anything odd on his computer.
asenada
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