Does everything remind you?

An area especially for those who are newly bereaved by suicide. If you feel alone or need extra help, please let us know.

Does everything remind you?

Postby doe » Tue Sep 03, 2013 10:18 pm

Is it typical that SO MANY things around seem to remind of the one lost? There is an enormous amount of triggers! I have never experienced this before.... this was a friend, we've lost family and not felt so despaired. I wonder if this is due to the manner in which our friend was lost? Not due to old age, accident, or illness as deceased family had been. Our friend died two weeks ago (will be two weeks in a half day). I feel like I'm grasping at straws also, trying to find something to hold onto as a memorial of sorts.... some item, something, anything.
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Re: Does everything remind you?

Postby RD12 » Wed Sep 04, 2013 12:12 pm

I think suicide is so jolting because it is often sudden and upsets the normal order of things. The victim is often young with so much opportunity and promise, even though they may be going through dificult times at the moment. Children should not die before their parents, especially at their own hand.

At two weeks I was still numb. I thought about my son several times per hour, instead of several times per day like I do now. The first year is difficult because everything will be the first time something happens without your friend - holidays, birthdays, visits to familiar locations, etc. I still get sad when I hear songs that were popular from the time when my son took his life. "We are Young" by fun is particularly difficult to hear.
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Re: Does everything remind you?

Postby Berna » Wed Apr 09, 2014 5:26 pm

My son died a monthl before your friend, I always have reminders, every second of my day. Children should not die before their parents...ever, I often wonder if somehow or someway I,ll know more. I still haven,t spoken to the young man that found him, can,t bring myself to do it, I texted him a few months afterwards and told him I would pray for him, and wish him peace of mind. I want to call him...I,ve read the police report, coroner,s report, spoke to his girlfriend ( they had broken up) I just can,t take the details yet,..I only looked at the reports once. It's so incredibly mind consuming! It,ll be a year on August 12, 2013... His Birthday is coming in two weeks! April 30th, he would,ve been 24,...I'm saposed to teach school that day...can I ? I don,t know...sooo sad, ...I think if I go teach I may just start bawling? I don't know?.
Confused and overwhelmed with grief, and alway will continue to wonder..why didn,t you call me! Always acted like things were so great! UGH!!! Why!!
B
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Re: Does everything remind you?

Postby Hawk » Sat Nov 08, 2014 9:39 pm

I lost my mom about 3 months ago. I'm in the process of trying to start a new life without her. I hold on to a few precious physical memories but I have a hard time looking at them. So yea I guess everything does remind you. All I can really say is that it will get easier never better but easier. As hard as it may be I try to hold on to the good memories. I wish you the best.
“Tears shed for another person are not a sign of weakness. They are a sign of a pure heart.”
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Re: Does everything remind you?

Postby rememberingrichard » Sun Nov 09, 2014 3:05 pm

Yes EVERYTHING IS A REMINDER at leat ot is for me I lost my boyfriend 2 months and 1 day ago he lived with me and my family. Everything is a trigger, laundry TV stations ( even the one he would watch for me), getting ready or even complete opposites when I see someone bullyed or attacked down In the dumps I think about how I wish I could!d take care of Richard he was very close to my everyday life and was looking to be a petmanent part.

I'm so sorry for your loss there really isn't getting around the reminders unfortunately feel accordingly to what triggers you are having unfourtanatley we have to live without our loved one although in a heart beat I would change it if I could. In the beggining I took around his jacket in my bag eventually I left it ho!e but don't intend on getting rid of it I keep his favorite pillow near me but there is an aspect if me knows these things won't bring me the comfort he gave me I'm struggling everyday if you find something of significance to you even if its everything keep it around

Stay strong your friend who is always remembering richard
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Re: Does everything remind you?

Postby AmbersFather » Wed Dec 09, 2015 11:24 am

We lost our daughter on the 23rd of November. We had most of our stuff packed as we were moving that week. Now I have four boxes of her clothes in the garage that we will have to go through. I dread doing it but at the same time it needs to be done. I'm pretty sure that when we do it will be very sad and emotional.
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Re: Does everything remind you?

Postby Geodc » Wed Jan 27, 2016 9:13 pm

7 years have past, I still catch myself hearing his voice in a crowd. My brother my best friend growing up. reminders abound like going to his sons college graduation and trying to help his daughter get her life together. He would be Great uncle to my granddaughter. So in answer to your question Yes, everything. I only hope it becomes a less resentful feeling and maybe even a fondness one day.
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