My name is Angela

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angela092402
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Posts: 8
Joined: Thu Nov 06, 2014 9:00 pm

My name is Angela

Post by angela092402 » Mon Dec 01, 2014 4:55 am

We lost my beloved brother when he was 18. I was 14. This was 19 years ago. My father found his son. My father has never been the same. None of us have been. I am well healed. I 've accepted his choice. I am no longer angry but continue to love my brother with my unconditional love. I honor his name. My only wish is that my family could recover. This will not happen. My father is now a tortured soul that does not speak to any of us. He has not met his grandchildren, he buried us when he buried my brother. That is the saddest part for me, still at age 33.

Karyl
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Re: My name is Angela

Post by Karyl » Mon Dec 01, 2014 9:30 am

Angela,

My heart goes out to you and your family.

It seems as if you found a positive way to grieve and remember your brother, but your father, bless his heart, has not.

It's difficult for parents to deal with the suicide of their children; they often blame themselves, although they sometimes become angry and blame others who were close. If they never find a way to let go or to forgive, the anger can become rage and it can destroy them.

When someone finds a person who has just taken his or her life, that adds another dimension to the trauma, one that sometimes requires professional help to deal with.

It is too bad that your father has not been able to get the help he needed. He has to want to change, and he may not want to. In a way, you lost your brother and father both that day, so you have two people to mourn.

You said that your father does not speak to you. Do you ever see him? IF so, does he let you give him a hug? Hugs are simple, but they can sometimes help.

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