Grieving for my daughter Sarah

[Bereaved1]

Dear Hollowheart, I'm very sorry about your beloved daughter. If you do everything you are doing in baby steps you won't feel so overwhelmed. Take deep breaths and do your facebook work in short time periods. Our concentration is not the same when we are in shock and grief.

[marigold]

Thank you, yes, he does know our pain, I've found so much solace in being grateful to Him. I do like the counselor's analogy, too, except, with suicide, maybe it's just kind of an open wound forever that we learn to honor and learn from.

My pain is kind of ok for a while and then something triggers the it and I have to reach out again. It's the only thing that helps the really bad stuff.

I too have really lost my health, but I keep fighting. I have fibromyalgia and/or rheumatoid arthritis now and I'm not quite 40. It's hard, but in some ways, fighting to live has helped me cope. It's taken the focus off of the pain and onto living. I got a little dog to help with mom's death and now she helps me with the fibro. I think she's an angel.

Her story is that she was left in the snow, chained to a toolbox. A plumber found her and did the job for free to rescue her. He put her up for adoption on CL. The story they wrote about her was that she was horrible, ugly and impossible, but desperately needed a home. She was none of the above! She has a good heart and loves me. Maybe it is mom's love, again, now that I think of it.

Many hugs and much love. It does sound a little overwhelming with the pics, just do what you can. That is good enough. Just do your best. I had a website for mom, but the server crashed and everything was lost.

Take care.

[lonelymom]

Dear Hollowheart:
So much of what you described happened to me too. My Jeff was 22 yrs old. He had one malady after another. Three surgeries in 3 yrs. 2 auto accidents that were life threatening, broken bones and that damn depression. He used rx drugs, but I too found him lifeless on the bed. Chaos followed with cops and ems. I'm 61 and the stress of it all took its toll. I am now a diabetic on insulin, take all sorts of meds and antidepressants. My husbandand I pledged to each other that we would not let our grief come between us as it often doeswith couples who go through this. He grieves guietly, I am more vocal and hold nothing in. We go to counseling
together. But trust me, he has his moments. It is the most gut wrenching, catastrophic tragedy and it will never get any worse. Next week will be one year and the pain is beginning to dull. Give it time. I am so sorry for your loss and regret your membership in this club.

Your Momma still loves you darling Jeffrey.

[HollowHeart]

Yes, depression is a terrible killer. And also it destroys other people's bodies with other illnesses. Every year, I add 1 or 2 new ones with my depression I have had for over 40 years now. This month, it is 5 months since my Sarah killed herself. I must say that it is getting alittle better, don't cry as much & can focus on things better. The timeline I'm doing for her on Facebook is coming along nicely. I go to counseling once a week & belong to a suicide group I go to once a month.

Marigold- have you tried magnesium 400 mg a day for your fibro? They have found that fibro patients are lacking in mag. It has stopped my pain completely. I was on Cymbalta for it & it gave me terrible reoccurring nightmares, before Sarah died. If I miss taking mag. more than 3 days, the pain comes back. Give it a try- no one gets enough mag. in their diets anyway. I've had fibro for over 10 years & am 59.

Take care everyone, You all are in my daily prayers.