* SURVEY for Everyone Who Reads & Posts *

Tell us who you are and what brought you here

Re: * SURVEY for Everyone Who Reads & Posts *

Postby Peaches406 » Wed Nov 30, 2011 9:10 am

1. About how long have you been reading and/or posting here?
A little over a month
2. What do you like best about the Suicide Grief Support Forum?
The honesty and compassion of others
3. Which sections do you believe are the most helpful to you?
For siblings and Venting
4. Have you had any problems here with anyone who posts? If so, explain.
No
5. Have any of the moderators been helpful to you? If so, explain.
Not sure who all they are?
6. What do you think is missing from the forum? What do you think it needs that it does not have at this time?
The ability to post pictures? I can't seem to get a file small enough to post my brother's pic
7. If there are any moderators or other posters who have been especially helpful to you, who are they?
Blossom, Toot, Cmarie, to name a few
8. Anything else you want to add to help us help you more effectively:
This site has been a lifesaver
Trent Daniel Jones 2/14/90 to 3/31/11 ~ My heart, my love, my life....
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Re: * SURVEY for Everyone Who Reads & Posts *

Postby Mjames » Tue Jan 31, 2012 9:44 am

1. About how long have you been reading and/or posting here?
----I have been off and on for 5 years, moreso at the beginning and for perhaps a year after.

2. What do you like best about the Suicide Grief Support Forum?
----It's a special room for only those who know this.

3. Which sections do you believe are the most helpful to you?
----Left alone. Memories.

4. Have you had any problems here with anyone who posts? If so, explain.
-----None.

5. Have any of the moderators been helpful to you? If so, explain.
-----Always.

6. What do you think is missing from the forum? What do you think it needs that it does not have at this time?
----I was sorry the old archives were lost. I had a lot of good threads with people and would have often liked to refer back to them to "relearn" some things and also to see how I've grown over the years.

7. If there are any moderators or other posters who have been especially helpful to you, who are they?
----Dave (wherever he is now); Micki, who remains my friend ti the day.

8. Anything else you want to add to help us help you more effectively:
----Karyl, you've done an incredible job maintaing this site and I only hope it has brought you solace and blessings and joy.
For John, gone from me January 25, 2007. I miss my lover, my friend.
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Re: * SURVEY for Everyone Who Reads & Posts *

Postby Madeleine » Tue Mar 20, 2012 10:59 am

1. About how long have you been reading and/or posting here?

I have never posted anything, just followed for comfort.

2. What do you like best about the Suicide Grief Support Forum?

I realize I am not alone.

3. Which sections do you believe are the most helpful to you?

Hearing people say the same craziness that is going on in my head.

4. Have you had any problems here with anyone who posts? If so, explain.

No

5. Have any of the moderators been helpful to you? If so, explain.

No

6. What do you think is missing from the forum? What do you think it needs that it does not have at this time?

7. If there are any moderators or other posters who have been especially helpful to you, who are they?

8. Anything else you want to add to help us help you more effectively:

I really appreciated the speed with which I was accepted to the site. There is another site, which I signed up for and had to wait weeks to receive an authentication email.
Madeleine
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Re: * SURVEY for Everyone Who Reads & Posts *

Postby jonnysmom » Wed Mar 21, 2012 12:34 pm

1. About a week now.
2. Yes.
3. Fathers & Mothers applies to me, but I skip around a read a bit of everything. We all have "a loss" in common.
4. No.
5. Yes, they helped me get started/registered on the site.
6. I am too new to have feedback in this regard, but would like to know that the site is going to keep on going - I find it valuable.
7. Karyl is my first contact and was most helpful, but I'm sure they are all great (just for doing what they do).
8. Keep up the good work.
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Re: * SURVEY for Everyone Who Reads & Posts *

Postby anangelnamedjordan » Tue Apr 03, 2012 8:22 pm

1 - Appx. 7 mths

2 - Losing someone to suicide is not like losing someone to cancer, old age, etc. and no matter how hard someone wants to understand and help you with your pain, they just can't because it is a whole different loss. Coming to this site has help me so much because I know everybody truly understand the different emotions that come with losing a love one to suicide.

3 - Mother/Father

4 - No

5 -

6 - Possibly an Open Fourm for those really bad moments when you just want to chat

7 - Beraved1, Psyquestor, Cmarie, Johnsmom, Blosson and Cali to name a few

8 - Great site ... I am so glad I came across it.
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Re: * SURVEY for Everyone Who Reads & Posts *

Postby jillslay8 » Sun Apr 15, 2012 7:04 am

SURVEY

1. About how long have you been reading and/or posting here?
March 19th 2012

2. What do you like best about the Suicide Grief Support Forum?
You can say anything you want not be judged people really do care . i am sad this has to be but happy at least there is someplace to talk

3. Which sections do you believe are the most helpful to you?
All of them

4. Have you had any problems here with anyone who posts? If so, explain.
no

5. Have any of the moderators been helpful to you? If so, explain.
I think everyone who takes a moment of there time to talk and help is very special

6. What do you think is missing from the forum? What do you think it needs that it does not have at this time?
nothing

7. If there are any moderators or other posters who have been especially helpful to you, who are they?

8. Anything else you want to add to help us help you more effectively:


I just want to say I am sorry we all have reason to be here yet thank full for the help (((hugs)))
Ken,I miss you so much it hurts. I hope you found what you wanted. All we found is pain.
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Re: * SURVEY for Everyone Who Reads & Posts *

Postby cali » Sat Jul 21, 2012 2:17 am

1. Since Nov 2010
2. Supportive environment
3. Varies
4.No
5.Ditto the above post.

6. Permission to be honest about this process. Yes, for many of us there are positives, time helps, we learn coping skills, but for most of us we are not always better in a timely straight lined fashion. For me this is not an entirely safe place to say how hard this is sometimes, or how angry I get sometimes, because the moderators feel it could be harmful and traumatizing to new members. I disagree. Being real is much more helpful than offering promises that not all of us can measure up to. What ever anyone expresses here about their pain is their own. We are not all the same and I think all of us know that, even new people. Everyone here has already experienced the worst trauma imaginable. The semi unspoken rule "Don't share too much if it's not going well and you are already gosh over a year? or what ever the invisible marker is for suddenly being an old timer here. "Don't make it look bad" IT IS BAD. Some times are better or worse than others. It's not a straight line. Perhaps a newcomer will say gosh, at least I'm not like that person, or wow I can relate. I have permission to accept that this is as big as it feels and to know I will have a variety of moods and experiences around this for the rest of my life. Some are dark. Some are not.
I hate all this PC crap that says "You should be better than that. Don't scare the newcomers! Remember, put on your happy face!" If something gets triggered in a new comer it would have anyway. It's real. Let it be spoken. Thank you for the space to share this. This place is the only support I have most of the time. But it's not safe if I can't share my pain without being reprimanded. And by the way, it goes both ways. Newcomers trigger Old-timers too. Let it happen. Let people be real. I am not talking about sharing graphic plans to suicide. I am talking about not sugarcoating what this grief is. About being honest. Everyone can find comfort in comforting others sometimes, and everyone can find comfort in knowing it is ok to express times of hopelessness or fury. I vote for real.

8. From time to time someone posts a regular post as an announcement and it sits at the top of the topic with an exclamation point for months or even years as if it were a new post. It bothers me because it makes the posts seem more important than the sometimes hundreds that are posted after that. I think it would be appropriate for the moderators to gently redirect those posts, or set an auto time limit on them, which once they have reached the limit, their post will gently descend into the same area as the other posters.

Thank you for this space.
cali
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Re: * SURVEY for Everyone Who Reads & Posts *

Postby psyquestor » Sat Jul 21, 2012 10:22 am

Cali, The "sticky" posts are informative and meant to be read by new users. This is why they are at the top of the forum they belong to and they are easily found when someone has a question.

I understand the confusion about moderation and yes of course you are entitled to your opinion. I would like to assure you that we do what we do for a reason and although those reasons are clearly listed in the forum rules, it may not always be obvious. If someone posts that they feel like dying by suicide or make a suicidal threat, we edit the post immediately and try to contact the person. This is not the place for those types of thoughts and we have been forthcoming about why. We understand that at times people need more help than this board is capable of providing and advise they seek professional help elsewhere. It can be very upsetting for a member to come upon a message that has a statement such as this and yes, can re-traumatize them, based on their past experience.

I'm sorry you disagree with the guidelines, they are in place with the very best intentions for all members.

Thank you for sharing your concerns Cali.
Tammy
Proud Army Mom
Moderator

I thought I would lay down and die after losing my Son to suicide.
Instead I chose to fight the monster that killed him.
http://www.afsp.org

Hold On, Pain Ends
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Cali - Criticizing the Modertors

Postby Karyl » Sat Jul 21, 2012 11:10 am

Cali,

I echo the excellent post by Tammy, replying to your message.

I'm sorry you perceive the management of the Suicide Grief Support Forum so negatively. I disagree with your assessment of what may or may not be posted on the board, but that's okay. We don't have to agree on everything.

Our goal, as moderators, is to maintain an environment that is supportive, informative and safe. We are volunteers, so we encourage anyone who needs more help than they can get here to seek help from professionals.

We are especially grateful to the 'regular' posters who return to the board often and help us accomplish our goal.
Karyl
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Re: * SURVEY for Everyone Who Reads & Posts *

Postby cali » Sat Jul 21, 2012 5:38 pm

Karyl Wow! What a topic header:
Cali- Criticizing the Moderators
Way to put the dunce cap on my head! I'm sorry you perceive my perception of the moderators so negatively. I think you have created a wonderful space here and it has been very helpful to me and countless others. Perhaps you are projecting, but I can't make that call. It's not my place, just as it is not yours or Tammy's to make assumptions about what I understand and don't understand. I was speaking to a type of response from the moderators to strong emotions expressed here, NOT about the moderators themselves or this site in general. An example of what I was speaking about is the way that my viewpoint was responded to on this SURVEY. Perhaps I am wrong, but I thought this survey was a place for honest feedback that was asked for by the creators of the survey about the site and how they could make it better. I did not think that a Survey was a place where I would be told I was wrong and confused in my perceptions because my feedback was apparently not what was wanted. But that's perhaps why anonymous surveys can be useful. The Survey givers then are not able to take it personally, or make it personal which it feels like the two of you just did. Perhaps you should take some time to read what I actually wrote.

'm sorry you perceive the management of the Suicide Grief Support Forum so negatively. I disagree with your assessment of what may or may not be posted on the board, but that's okay. We don't have to agree on everything.
Our goal, as moderators, is to maintain an environment that is supportive, informative and safe. We are volunteers, so we encourage anyone who needs more help than they can get here to seek help from professionals./quote]

I don't believe I disagree with you on what may or may not be not be posted here. I just disagree with being made wrong for posting within the parameters of what is allowed, as I experienced from you in my post "Don't feel I can Cope" Those responses did not feel informative or safe, or respectful.

Further I was not speaking of posting suicidal thoughts. I was speaking of being able to express angry, frustrated or unhappy feelings. Not every strong, negative, or difficult emotion is suicidal.
Despite your assertions to the contrary, I am not confused about the guidelines, and for the most part I do not view your management negatively at all. I think you have done a really superb job. I only object to the "emergency mode" response to a non suicidal but unhappy post by user who is not "new." There might be other, more gentle ways of responding to such posts, if you feel the need.

If someone is suicidal and in major crisis yes they need to do more than post on this forum, that is obvious. But if someone is, furious, frustrated and can't find the light at the moment,-not uncommon with complicated grief, it does not mean they are saying they are in danger of suicide. I would hope this forum would allow people going through this to express it and not experience what I felt was a rather heavy handed moderator emergency mode, as I did in my post "Don't feel I can cope" I meant exactly that, that I was having a hard time, not that I was suicidal. Having to defend myself for having a normal response to grief and loss is traumatizing and stressful. Having to defend myself for sharing my thoughts on this survey is just tiresome. I am so sorry if you felt attacked. That was not my intention. I'm feeling a bit attacked myself. I really am doing the best I can and have tried to be helpful to others often on this forum. My answers to the Survey were also meant to be helpful. If they reflected some frustration I don't think that's so terribly wrong. But they were not meant as an attack. I do appreciate you, and I have never claimed to be perfect, nor do I expect perfection of you. I was simply pointing out an area where I felt you could use some feedback.

I found both your responses patronizing. Sorry I pushed your buttons. And please, the Sticky notes, or Announcements? I know what they are for. Posting the details about a funeral or a personal experience as an Announcement is a commonly made new forum user mistake. Not correcting it after a sensitive amount of time just feels unfair to all of the other posters. If you are picking from amoung the posts to give certain ones extra attention because you feel they will be valuable for many, then it would be nice for you to say that, and of course get the permission of the poster. Otherwise I imagine people would find it confusing.
I don't understand why anyone would take issue with my bringing this up. It feels valid to me.

My criticism was meant to be constructive. Perhaps the phrase "PC crap" was out of line. Apologies, but it was a generalization about something in our culture that I perceive as off balance. Again, I did not mean to offend.

And thank you In Search of Peace, for your own thoughts, your supportiveness and understanding. A big hug.
cali
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