September 8, 2012

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September 8, 2012

Postby Rainbows » Sat Sep 06, 2014 7:00 pm

Coming up to the date when I lost my soulmate, Erik.

September 7th 2012 was the last day we saw each other and said I love you. September 8th Erik went missing... He didn't return any of my calls from work, no reply to texts, and when I got home I found only his things laid out on his desk. No Erik. No more Erik....
September 9 2012 is when they found him dead. His body was found in the pond behind our home by the rowers who were lining up at the starting gates for the School Boy race.
Complete shock. Disbelief. Fear. That was the day my world ended. Now, every September, I relive the most horrific days of my life!

Seeing him there, dead, at the funeral home, is forever burned in my mind. How could he do this!?!? Why would he do this!? No note. No answers. No clue he didn't want to live anymore. He made plans for that weekend and a retreat for the two of us planned for the next... He was making plans with our couple friends to invite them for dinner! Then the switch went off and he decided he didn't want to be here anymore. Just like that! And drowning!?!?! Who drowns them self? How does one even do that unless they REALLY REALLY want to die! How on earth do you bypass the very instinctive mechanism to come up for air??? wtf..... :'( A million questions that will never be answered on top of all the pain I'm left with and a shattered heart.

Why baby? Why......... :'(

It'll be 2 years this September 8th and I still wait for him to walk through the door... I wish this was all just a horrific nightmare.
I miss the way your eyes and stars align
I miss the thoughts that design and build your mind
I miss the way you hold me close like vines
I miss you all the time - USS
Rainbows
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Re: September 8, 2012

Postby Hurt » Fri Oct 10, 2014 9:13 pm

How do you know this was a suicide? It sounds more like an accidental drowning. Was there a police investigation? Maybe he didn't intentionally leave you, that would change things some, right? Wishing you peace, I know you are struggling with this.
Hurt
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Re: September 8, 2012

Postby Blossom » Mon Oct 13, 2014 5:07 am

I am so sorry for your loss, Rainbows. I am glad that you shared your story. The orbit of an anniversary of a loss of this magnitude is so so hard. I hope that your ship has begun the motions of righting by now when I am replying.

Peace, care for yourself. Blossom x
Blossom x

If nothing else, give refuge to those in need.
Blossom
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Re: September 8, 2012

Postby Rainbows » Mon Oct 13, 2014 7:27 pm

Thank you Blossom <3
I miss the way your eyes and stars align
I miss the thoughts that design and build your mind
I miss the way you hold me close like vines
I miss you all the time - USS
Rainbows
Newbie
 
Posts: 27
Joined: Thu Sep 04, 2014 5:58 pm


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