Not sure if this is going to happen...but thoughts?

A discussion of any suicide issue or grief topic that don't fit elsewhere.

Not sure if this is going to happen...but thoughts?

Postby Moun10dew » Fri Sep 20, 2013 10:14 am

Ok...as most know on here my girlfriend committed suicide this past February. I have been going to counseling and group since then. The group we have is getting to be pretty large...almost too large for the room we are in so the leaders of the group are now thinking of splitting the group up into two groups. One specifically for parents whose children committed suicide and one for everyone else. No one in the group is a counselor. It's just a place to go for support. I'm kind of thinking of volunteering to help out with the group that is for the "everyone else". My Counselor even suggested it. She told me I have come a long way. People in the group have even said so looking at how busy I keep myself with concerts with getting out and about. I recently took up learning speed skating. I want to be there for these people that are going through what I went through and what I am going through. I'm a lot better than I was a few months ago. Would helping out with a support group this soon (been less than a year) be a positive thing? My counselor thinks it might be a gift to me.
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Re: Not sure if this is going to happen...but thoughts?

Postby psyquestor » Fri Sep 20, 2013 3:00 pm

Helping others is always a positive thing. The important thing is knowing if it will help you on your own journey, or if it will put too much pressure on you too soon. This is a judgement call that no one else can make for you, but just like most things, I have an opinion.

I moderate here and another forum. I have also taken some leadership classes. For all three, they did not recommend doing so, until after the second year of grief had passed - particularly for parents. The thinking is that those first two years are the hardest to survive and that at any time, we ourselves could be in crisis. Even after three years, it was very difficult for me at the other group, as it was very active and I had a lot to keep up with. Some days, just welcoming a new person to the group was more than I could do. (such was my own grief, I was struggling).

So, for what it's worth, many experienced facilitators do recommend waiting until after year 2 before helping others. This is so you aren't overtaxing yourself and you are able to work through your own grief in a healthy way.

Having said all that, I did moderate one group (not this or the other one) 14 months into my grief journey. I did not feel it held me back in any way. In the end I did leave the group to find one more oriented to Parents of Suicides, rather than an open group. It's all in how YOU feel and if you feel up to the challenge, I say go for it; just stay mindful that it's okay if it doesn't work out; your journey is important too.

((((hugs))))
Tammy
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I thought I would lay down and die after losing my Son to suicide.
Instead I chose to fight the monster that killed him.
http://www.afsp.org

Hold On, Pain Ends
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Re: Not sure if this is going to happen...but thoughts?

Postby Moun10dew » Mon Sep 23, 2013 11:55 am

Thanks for the response. Yeah...while I understand a bit about what they are going through...like it's been pointed out it's my own journey..and it's their own journey. We are just there to help each other out however we can. I actually had my first cry in about a month this past weekend when I heard a song playing on the radio. Doing fine now.
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Re: Not sure if this is going to happen...but thoughts?

Postby ktfahel » Fri Sep 27, 2013 9:31 am

I just want to say, if you can do it, kudos! I don't think I would have that much strength so soon. It's so admirable that you want to help others in your own pain. I respect you for that.
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