What suicide did to me

This forum is for people that have suicidal thoughts. We hope that we can offer words of encouragement and hope to you. If you choose to write a letter here, we ask that you put a lot of thought and care in your letter. Choose your words carefully. Don't preach. Don't berate. Don't write anything negative.

What suicide did to me

Postby marigold » Tue Feb 07, 2012 6:08 pm

It destroyed me, my family and my life. The lives of my 2 little girls and my husband. It ruined my relationships with almost everyone. I cannot work. I have fibromyalgia. I miss my mom everyday. My children will never know her. She could have taken her antidepressant and saved us all this devastation, but she chose to end her life instead. Every day is filled with pain and trying to overcome it. Whereas other people get to live their lives, we are just surviving. It's not fair to my girls and now their suicide risk is high. She could have reached out and and gone to the hospital, but she chose to lash out instead. It's a choice she can never take back.
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Re: What suicide did to me

Postby briansfolks » Wed Feb 08, 2012 7:29 am

marigold, You are not alone. We are left with pieces to put back together to make our lives go on. No, it will not be the same. When people say that time will heal you, that is not the truth, it will take much more than just time. People that say that are trying to say something fitting at the moment. You will have to work through all the stages of grief, and THAT WILL TAKE TIME. If you get stuck in a stage of grief, it will take more time than others in the family that are dealing with the same death. Ending the pain by suicide was not meant to hurt the survivors, but it hurts bad. I never got to say goodbye to my son, he was in a bad marriage and now his wife is trying to justify her actions for pushing him over the edge. He was in pain from her awful words that she hurled at him. He wanted to pain to stop, she hurt him, now his pain is ours. We need to pick up the pieces that we have left, put a life together with what we have now, somehow find the strength to at least try. I am so sorry, but you are not alone.
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Re: What suicide did to me

Postby marigold » Mon Feb 13, 2012 10:29 pm

Thank you for your kind words. Suicide is just horrible. I don't think that time heals this, either. I think that we learn and honor the pain, but it's something that we carry forever, how could it be any other way? We love them. That doesn't change because of death. We miss them. Love and hugs.
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Re: What suicide did to me

Postby samwong » Tue Feb 14, 2012 9:45 pm

Without this pain, i also dont know if am just a living corpse or what.

I always think those who did it was not in a clear state of mind even though their action seem clear etc.. Not a healthy person will choose to end it.

we just have to walk finished this journey, not letting the devil win, and all will be clear on the other side.
I LOVE MY MUM! SEE YOU IN HEAVEN WHEN MY TIME HAS COME.
GOD, Please show your loves to all.
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