Out Of Darkness Walk

[ken]

The Atlanta walk was this past Saturday. I rode the train down there and as I didn't know how long it would take, I left early. I guess I left too early. I walked around a while till time to sign in. I signed in, got my t-shirt and then walked around a little more I started feeling very alone and started to get panicky so I left before the walk.

Just wanted to update everyone.

[crisa]

Oh well honey, you gave it a chance, you tried, that's all that matters! Perhaps next year?

[ken]

Hi Crisa,

I will have to see how it goes next year. At least I raised a little money for the cause.

How are you? How is your friend doing? Hope that things are going well with you. - wayne

[Matnet4]

that's OK Wayne, you raised some money, and that's a great thing. It must have been hard trying to
do the walk alone......I'd have felt the same way. Maybe next year you can hook up w/ some
other walkers. I give you credit for attempting it....that took courage. Our local walk was only
about an hour from us, but I still haven't been able to do it. I hope to in the future. Take care!!

[Richard]

Wayne, I regret that you felt so alone there. It's hard to imagine that in the midst of over 600 people someone could feel that way unless they had experienced it for themselves. Believe me, I understand. I am now 11 years into this survivor identity following the suicides of my stepson and wife and even now still have "those days". Events such as this while they can be healing can also be painful because of the simple reason that you are there. You are there because someone you cared for deeply, for whatever reason, decided to end their own life. It is a painful thing to remember.

Wishing you the best,

Richard

[WifeLess]

Wayne,

You put in the time and effort. And you raised some money.
That's more than most of us did, including me. Thanks for
taking on the cause.

--- WifeLess

[Kim H]

Wayne,

You made a HUGE step by going to the walk. You raised money and for that I thank you. You helped raise suicide awareness. I wish I lived closer. I would have walked with you. I think everyone on this forum knows that alone feeling. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Kim

[ken]

Thanks All,

I don't feel bad for not completing the walk. And it was not so much the grief that was getting to me. More my old demons coming back. I needed to share it to keep them away. Thanks for the kind words of encouragement.

[Bereaved1]

I'm not doing the Out of the Darkness Walk in NYC this year - 2011 because of the enforced $1,050 to raise or donate yourself to be able to participate. My recent email response to their response I got from them is...

Somebody very smart said something like don't try to take by force what you can have by love. Anybody connected with charity and good causes - especially Suicide Prevention should be trying to change the general climate that money is more important than people. It's subtle for some people, but, it has to change or the suicide rates will continue to rise.

I have no questions that they offered answers to. I am furious.

[Bereaved1]

In fact, donations while you are in intense grief can be dangerous. I was so distraught when Jacob passed that I donated $1,000 to Beth Israel Hospital, hoping to help as well as memorializing his name on a wall. I also gave the friend who lent him $1,000 before he died her $1,000 back from Jacob so she could pay her rent. I could not afford that money. I was vulnerable with nobody to help me, to trust who really cared about me. I am trying to dig myself out of my money pit now.