understanding death by hanging

How does grief make you feel? Angy? Sad? Lonely? Afraid? Worried? Tired? Empty?

Re: understanding death by hanging

Postby MamaBear » Thu Jan 05, 2012 2:57 pm

I felt about a moments relief as I read the first post and after that all I could see was my daughters face when we had cut her down, her skewered mouth and the small trickle of blood from the corner. I describe her look as that of painful determination. I don`t know how to get that image out of my head. I get stuck on that little trickle out of the corner of her mouth. So I don`t know if she went quietly or if she struggled. I do know that you lose consciousness very quickly and she too could of just stood up to save herself. That confirms why so many of them that could`ve just were not able to. Peace to all and sorry if I sounded bitter. Still alot of anger hangs around me.
~ Sherri
Michelle's Mother
01/16/81 to 01/02/98


"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind
don't matter and those who matter don't mind."~Dr. Suess
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Re: understanding death by hanging

Postby Crystl » Fri Jan 06, 2012 3:48 am

MamaBear I am stuck on the picture of my sons drained face with his tongue protruding and can't escape the image..
I pray that our children never suffered and that they are now at peace.
I'm so sorry any of us have to endure this nightmare (hugs)
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Re: understanding death by hanging

Postby Tracy9 » Sun Jan 08, 2012 8:41 pm

I found my brother on the morning of the 9th day in the middle of the summer. His body was in a state of moderately severe decompostion. He hung himself off an inside bannister in his house with an open floor plan, so his body had to have swung from side to side for some time before settling. When my husband and I found him, his knees were bent and feet touching the floor. The police told me the weight of the body will stretch out the rope over time.

I could not look at him straight on. I looked at his beautiful hair and wish I'd asked for a lock. His eyelids were very swollen and about 3/4 shut. I didn't want to see his neck so I don't remember looking down. I didn't go any closer than about ten feet to him. I focused on his right side. I kept staring at his arm, it looked like nothing I really want to explain. I just was so stuck on how I could not understand why it looked why it did and the EMTs would not explain. HIs face was swollen. His knees were bent, his arms hanging there. I only looked at the one arm.

My husband said he had blood all over his shirt. I don't remember seeing that at all, nor seeing it on his face. It was coming out of his mouth and nose. I can clearly remember seeing the arm of his white tshirt and that he was wearing jeans. I just didn't look below his eyes I guess but how could my peripheral vision miss that?

I also do no rememeber the horrific smell. The EMTS were shocked I could not smell it. When I went back to the house after they removed him, the carpet was soaked with blood. I just stood on that blood spot and sobbed and soaked in the last smells of his body. I knew it was the last I would ever see of him.
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Re: understanding death by hanging

Postby cmarie » Sun Jan 08, 2012 9:32 pm

Tracy, what a traumatic sight to have witnessed. I am glad you have been able to share it with us.
Bad Memories seem to lose some of their power when they are exposed.Through this grief journey I have marveled at how our brain's protect us -what it lets us see, smell, remember and think about.
I am so very sorry you have lost your brother Ted.
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always.
As long as I'm living,
My baby you'll be.
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Re: understanding death by hanging

Postby john » Sun Feb 05, 2012 11:58 pm

My wife and I have anguished over if our boy suffered when he died. The thing that has haunted me the most was if he changed his mind and wanted me to save him...silently cried out to me... but I wasn't there.

I haven't gotten the full details of his death as the Coroner's report won't be released for a couple of months yet. When I had to identify his body at the morgue, he looked peaceful, just asleep. This thread has helped me, so thank you to everyone that has posted to it.

If someone can message me a link to the report mentioned earlier, I think I would like to read it.
Dad to Dylan, aged 15 Years old (22 Apr 1996 to 18 Jan 2012)
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Re: understanding death by hanging

Postby KayW2009 » Wed Feb 08, 2012 12:36 am

the night you posted this my father hung himself. march 4th 2011. i got the last message from him at 12:21 am. I just think this is strange you posted this on that night. thank you for your post. As disturbing as this topic is... I found it comforting,
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Re: understanding death by hanging

Postby seeking » Mon Jan 20, 2014 7:28 pm

I lost my brother to suicide by hanging in October 2013 and am trying to find ways to cope with what had happened. The pain has been so agonizing. There is a permanent hole left inside my heart. At times I feel as if I will never get past what had happened even though I know there is no way to change the past. The only way to make sense of it is to try to come to terms with it as best as I know how.

It is strange to say that I am not, or have been, angry with my brother for what he did. I'm just so overwhelmingly sad that he died in the manner that he did and so alone, with no goodbyes or explanations or any sort to help us make sense of it all. No one in our family even knew he was sick. I could not fathom the degree of pain and suffering which he must have felt that drove him to end his life. The guilt of not being able to foresee his intentions and offer help and comfort to him in his last days is also something I must live with for the rest of my days.

I've also questioned if he has suffered during the last moments of his life. It is somewhat comforting to know that there was a possibility he lost consciousness quickly and did not feel the pain. However, it would help put my mind more at ease if I could please see the findings in the report(s) referenced by meowth. I'd appreciate it if you would please share this information with me, if it is still available.

I'm so deeply sorry for the loss(es) of your loved ones. May their memory bring you some peace and comfort during your dark hours of grief.

((( Hugs ))) ♥
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Re: understanding death by hanging

Postby cmarie » Wed Jan 22, 2014 9:30 am

I am so sorry you have lost your brother. I can't help you with the references-but I understand your need to know. It helped me find some peace.
Take care
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always.
As long as I'm living,
My baby you'll be.
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Re: understanding death by hanging

Postby seeking » Sat Jan 25, 2014 1:55 am

Thank you, cmarie, for your kind words and for taking the time to read my post and respond. My family does not want to talk about this situation after the funeral. I understand everyone grieves differently and they are trying to cope with their grief as best as they know how. I'm beside myself because I want to know/understand every detail leading up to the event and of the event itself, and they do not.

I'm so very sorry about your son. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. ♥
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Re: understanding death by hanging

Postby cmarie » Sun Feb 02, 2014 8:42 pm

It's true, we all do grieve so differently, and sometimes at such different paces. If it help you to know- the need to know diminished over time for me. It was a very powerful drive to know why, and all the details. I wrote everything down. Iread text messages, emails, checked his Internet searches - everything I could think of.
Now, it just doesn't matter as much any more. He is gone, and finding out things didn't change things.

It's a process that some of us need.
Take care
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always.
As long as I'm living,
My baby you'll be.
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