Suicide by drowning

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Suicide by drowning

Postby Rainbows » Wed Sep 10, 2014 6:56 pm

Hello
I didn't know where to post this but does ANYONE else have a loved one that they lost to drowning!?!?! If so, have you found anything with regards to whether it's a quick death?
I lost my partner 2 years ago and he took his life by drowning himself. :cry: Is there anybody out there who understands this horrific way to go!?!?!?!?!?

Thanks
I miss the way your eyes and stars align
I miss the thoughts that design and build your mind
I miss the way you hold me close like vines
I miss you all the time - USS
Rainbows
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Re: Suicide by drowning

Postby Hurt » Fri Oct 10, 2014 9:02 pm

Most deaths in the water involve drugs and/or alcohol, they can't swim, and maybe secondary source of injury involved. Like if they jumped into water and hit their head on something and caused them to be unconscious. It's an odd way to leave. Was there something else involved? Car wreck or something?
Hurt
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Re: Suicide by drowning

Postby Rainbows » Fri Oct 10, 2014 9:48 pm

Hi Hurt,
He was intoxicated 3x the legal limit.
He left behind his phone, wallet, and the keys to his car all lined up on his desk. He would have gone down to the rapids around 3 am as the last texts he sent out were around 2:38 am and then beyond that time there were no computer searches, no phone calls... no more trace of him!

It's dark down there and the point the police believe he went in they wont even send rescue divers into... It's so treacherous!
Ultimately his body ended up down at the pond (where it's calm).

He was generally depressed and stressed out about a work project but I didn't think suicidal!

Trust me... I've gone over this and over it and over it again. I will never know for sure but in my heart I've concluded he did it. :'(
I miss the way your eyes and stars align
I miss the thoughts that design and build your mind
I miss the way you hold me close like vines
I miss you all the time - USS
Rainbows
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Posts: 27
Joined: Thu Sep 04, 2014 5:58 pm

Re: Suicide by drowning

Postby Hurt » Sat Oct 11, 2014 12:52 am

That is odd. Sounds like something an intoxicated person would do, go for a swim while intoxicated. What matters is how you feel. I know you miss him and if this was his plan I wish he would have at least left you a note where there would be no doubt. Have you checked into counseling and EMDR? They may be able to help you with this. Wishing you peaceful days ahead.
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Re: Suicide by drowning

Postby Rainbows » Sat Oct 11, 2014 5:21 pm

I know it's odd! Trust me... Not having answers makes all of this that much worse!!! I have to live the rest of my life not fully knowing what happened to him that night. I've had repeated nightmares of him drowning in the dark... Being tossed around in the water, unable to come back up until he was gone. It's unbearable to think of!!!!!!!!! :'(

On top of being an alcoholic, he also had ADHD which made him incredibly impulsive. When he drank he either became INCREDIBLY emotional and would go to a very dark place or just do incredibly reckless things, which when sober, he'd regret.

2 weeks before he passed, he and I had "words". With a very determined look in his eyes he said with strong conviction that he couldn't do "this" anymore, to take care of his cat for him and that I'd be mad at him the rest of my life but he just couldn't do it any longer! I ran to the toilet and almost vomited!
I knew what he was saying... :'(
I told him we needed to get out of the house right then and there... Go for a drive and maybe get a bite to eat. We ended up calming down and talked about what he meant when he said he "couldn't do it anymore".
He just laughed and said, "I didn't mean suicide. I just meant maybe disappear, move away or something like that!"
2 weeks later, he's dead... the very day his work project, which he worked on over a year, is complete.
I miss the way your eyes and stars align
I miss the thoughts that design and build your mind
I miss the way you hold me close like vines
I miss you all the time - USS
Rainbows
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Posts: 27
Joined: Thu Sep 04, 2014 5:58 pm

Re: Suicide by drowning

Postby Hurt » Sat Oct 11, 2014 7:47 pm

It just seems that the two of you cared so much for each other, that he would have left a note for you. Do you think it's possible that it was an accidental drowning? That he really didn't mean to leave you? I can't explain it but I am getting this feeling that he didn't want to leave you. He got drunk, maybe to celebrate his project ending (maybe) , decided to go for a swim, left all his valuables on the desk so they wouldn't get wet, with intentions of coming back for them, hit the water and something went wrong...very wrong. I wish there was some way to prove this either way, accident or intentional, either way I know you miss him very much. Did the police report say it was a suicide? The autopsy would only show his blood alcohol and that he drowned, but was there any other injury to him? I'm sorry. You probably don't want to re-hash this and it's okay if you don't. It is puzzling though.
Hurt
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Re: Suicide by drowning

Postby Rainbows » Sun Oct 12, 2014 10:24 pm

Thank you for going over the mystery of it with me. It helps because friends and family don't want to keep talking about it anymore.

I know he loved me very much and he probably didn't want to leave me, or die for that matter. There was no note but there rarely is a note.

The police made very insensitive comments about his death and scoffed at me when I grasped at any hint that it may not have been a suicide! They were convinced he killed himself. The detective who went through our things made comments while looking at his meds (he was on clonazapam) and said, "well, if only he did his research he'd a known that downing a bottle of this with some booze would sedate the nervous system enough so you wouldn't puke them up and then you'd just drift away peacefully instead of drowning. god!"
F**ckers! They were really no help.

The following week he was suppose to go to a doctors appointment to start anti-depressants as per the guidance of a psychologist he had JUST started seeing. Sometimes I wonder if this all would have happened had we made it to that doctors appointment...
I miss the way your eyes and stars align
I miss the thoughts that design and build your mind
I miss the way you hold me close like vines
I miss you all the time - USS
Rainbows
Newbie
 
Posts: 27
Joined: Thu Sep 04, 2014 5:58 pm

Re: Suicide by drowning

Postby Hurt » Sun Oct 12, 2014 11:57 pm

See that's what is strange, lots of times there are notes, especially when they leave on good terms. Like he didn't leave because of you guys fighting, lost his job, or something like that. You guys were okay when this happened...right? I'm sorry, if I were in your shoes I would want some answers. Because to me it would make some difference if it were an accidental drowning due to alcohol intoxication, instead of just leaving you without even a note or saying good bye. You may have a problem getting the paperwork since you were not married or a relative though. The detective was out of line by saying that. I'm sorry.
Would the doctor's apt made a difference...we will never know. I still think he loved you too much to leave you. Just my opinion though. Anytime you want to talk just let me know. Not that we can hash out any real answers here but it does make you think that there may be more to this.
Hurt
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