"you're young"

How does grief make you feel? Angy? Sad? Lonely? Afraid? Worried? Tired? Empty?

"you're young"

Postby LaurenG » Tue Jan 28, 2014 8:01 am

I don't mean to be offensive, and I know that everyone on this is grieving, But I'd just like to take a second to say that it's hard for us young ones left alone too.
I've heard way too many times "Oh, you're young and pretty, you have your whole life" the way I look at it is that I have 50+ years to continue on this life without him. It's just not any easier because we have more life ahead of us. I've also heard "You have plenty of time to find someone else" But the truth is I don't want anyone else.
Living that long without Jessie, doesn't even seem like it's something that I want to do. He was my heart and we were supposed to be married this march.
So I'm sorry if anyone finds this offensive, it's not how I mean it. I just wanted to get it out there.. thanks.
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Re: "you're young"

Postby surprisedinsurprise » Wed Feb 05, 2014 1:27 pm

I think what you say is true at any age. I'm 46. I probably have 30 + years left. And like you, I feel like my foundation, my heart has been taken from me.
I can't imagine being with someone else, he was my soulmate, my best friend, my rock, my everything. Yes, he had mental health problems, that doesn't mean he wasn't *my* support structure, as I was his.
I'm very lucky that people haven't said anything that dumb to me, and I'm sorry you've had to deal with that. People are trying to be reassuring, but instead they just say stupid things that hurt. So far my dumbest one is "oh wow, you are back at work already".
Maybe we should compile a list of stupid things people say that are like a knife in the gut to the one grieving!!
They are trying to make us feel better, they don't know what to say, so they just stick their foot in their mouth.
Ignore the dimwitted but good hearted. And remember that we are there for you!!

Oh, and I, for one, wasn't offended at all!
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