Today is really tough

How does grief make you feel? Angy? Sad? Lonely? Afraid? Worried? Tired? Empty?

Today is really tough

Postby jeffryes32 » Tue Sep 17, 2013 12:45 pm

I'm outside, it's a nice day not a cloud in the sky, nice breeze. I feel so lonely, so sad. I feel like I'm alive, but I'm dead on the inside. Today I feel like it's becoming unbearable. I don't know if I can go through with this.
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Re: Today is really tough

Postby Blossom » Tue Sep 17, 2013 4:40 pm

You don't have to do today - one minute at a time is sometimes the only way. This is pain. This is the feeling of pain. I promise that it will change - even in an hour or two, it will be a little different, and tomorrow different again. Different things are called of us to survive this pain at different times. Please do whatever it takes to get through the minutes - I promise that it will get a little better - sometimes 'different' is an good as better, the change itself.

I am sorry that you are feeling this - so much of early grief feels far away for me now, but that unbearable feeling was branded and I will never forget how it feels.

I am going to work today, but I will check back tonight (your day) in case you would like to write further. If not, I am thinking of you and am sending you my version of a prayer. Hold on, hold on, hold on, you are loved.
Blossom x

If nothing else, give refuge to those in need.
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Re: Today is really tough

Postby Blossom » Tue Sep 17, 2013 4:44 pm

I am very sorry for your loss.

You don't have to do today - one minute at a time is sometimes the only way. This is pain. This is the feeling of pain. I promise that it will change - even in an hour or two, it will be a little different, and tomorrow different again. Different things are called of us to survive this pain at different times. Please do whatever it takes to get through the minutes - I promise that it will get a little better - sometimes 'different' is an good as better, the change itself.

I am sorry that you are feeling this - so much of early grief feels far away for me now, but that unbearable feeling was branded and I will never forget how it feels.

I am going to work today, but I will check back tonight (your day) in case you would like to write further. If not, know I am thinking of you and am sending you my version of a prayer. Hold on, hold on, hold on, you are loved.

jeffryes32, I see that your loss is very recent. Your words have touched me. I am hoping that the many who read and the few who write here, will reach out to you today.
Blossom x

If nothing else, give refuge to those in need.
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Re: Today is really tough

Postby psyquestor » Tue Sep 17, 2013 7:07 pm

*gentle hugs* I know how hard these first weeks are. I promise the pain does ease as days go by. Sleep will come again, breathing won't hurt so much.

Hold on, the pain ends.

In the beginning I could not rest without sleeping meds. If you aren't sleeping, you aren't coping. Even over the counter benedryl can be of some help.

We're here.
Tammy
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I thought I would lay down and die after losing my Son to suicide.
Instead I chose to fight the monster that killed him.
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Re: Today is really tough

Postby jeffryes32 » Tue Sep 17, 2013 8:05 pm

Thank you SO much Tammy and Blossom. You're absolutely correct that the emotions stay in increments, basically when your tears run dry. I hate the heavy, fast breathing feeling that settles in your heart, followed by anxiety, and unexplained mix of emotions. It is very tough, however, your supports and words of encouragement do really mean a lot. Having reinforcement that there is still life to look forward to, and that the pain will not be as heavy in the future, helps a lot. Thank you guys again.
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Re: Today is really tough

Postby Blossom » Thu Sep 19, 2013 3:53 am

Okay....hold on. One minute at a time.
Blossom x

If nothing else, give refuge to those in need.
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Re: Today is really tough

Postby psyquestor » Thu Sep 19, 2013 7:29 am

I'm glad the group is helping Jeff. At any given time there are people visiting or posting here from all over the world. Many of our members are silent, but each post they read helps them to feel a little less alone. So please know with each post you are helping someone yourself; to feel that someone understands; that's what makes this group work.

Read what helps, discard what doesn't and post when you are able. *hugs*
Tammy
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I thought I would lay down and die after losing my Son to suicide.
Instead I chose to fight the monster that killed him.
http://www.afsp.org

Hold On, Pain Ends
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Re: Today is really tough

Postby Suzanne » Thu Sep 19, 2013 7:36 am

I am so sorry for your loss. Those early days are so, so difficult. I couldn't quite understand anything about the jumble of emotions I was feeling. A quote that stays with me now is from C.S. Lewis who, in A Grief Observed, wrote “No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.”

Hold on, Jeffryes and remember to breathe.
Suzanne
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