When bad things happen to GOOD people.

[larryng]

I met my girlfriend , Linda, (the love of my life) around Feb. of 2002.

In 2002 my oldest brother, Tom, kidneys were failing and I had volunteered to be the donor.

Linda and I were "two peas in a pod" and our relationship blossomed .

I donated my left kidney to my brother on August 28, 2002. The operation went well we both healed very quickly.

Between 2002 and 2007 , I felt like I was on top of the world. Linda and I were in love. Life was going well and both donor and recipient were in excellent health.

My happy life came crumbling down on May 5th, 2007. This was the horrible day Linda committed suicide by self inflicted gunshot wound to the head. Linda passed away at age 30. At 32 years old I became a suicide survivor.

Linda suicide was a shock to everyone who knew her. Linda had everything to live for . She had a great job. She had lots of friends at work and outside of work who adored her. Her and I were madly in love. She had left no suicide note.

I was totally and completely devastated . How could something so horrific happen to someone like -------->ME<--------?

My whole entire life American popular culture had taught me that "good things happen to good people" and vice versa. The slogan of "What goes around comes around" was ingrained in my head ever since I was a young boy.

The "why me's ?" quickly turned into anger. I was 100% sure that God allowed Linda to commit suicide just to "screw me over". ( My beliefs in popular culture validated my insane beliefs)

Six months after Linda passed, I was a very very angry young man. I was infuriated with God and this world for harming me intentionally.

I struggled with my anger for a long time. While I was angry , I experienced NO HEALING.

I only experienced what began to look like healing two and half years after Linda had passed. This is when I began to question the teachings of popular culture. I started to realize that most popular culture beliefs ( if not all) were either 100% black or 100% white. Unfortunately, most life situations fall in the category of "shades of gray".

I experienced true healing when I surrendered to the fact that "bad things can happen to "good" people. This happened a little after THREE YEARS after Linda passing.

As I healed, I was no longer mad at God or the world. I became a lot more accepting of Linda's suicide. I began to have many good days. Some days are still bad. The important thing is I'm healing more and more every day.

It has been close to ten years since I donated my kidney and both brothers and doing very well.

To sum it all up : If bad things can happen to me.........IT CAN HAPPEN ANYONE.

[Karyl]

Larry,

Thanks for sharing your story with us, and for letting us know about Linda, and your gift to your brother, as well as your journey.

What was the most difficult challenge you had to deal with after Linda took her life?

[larryng]

Two most difficult challenges during my the first three years of Linda's.

1) Shock , horror and grief of losing the love of my life "out of the blue"

2) Carrying the extra burden of "how could something so horrible happen to such a nice guy like me?"

Before I learned that bad things can happen to "good" people I had to carry two very very heavy "crosses".

Now , I only have to carry one "cross". Carrying one "cross" is much easier than having to carry two!!!!!!

[samwong]

Bad things not only happen to good people, the bad as well. The rich, the poor, regardless of skin color, qualification, sex, age etc...

If you ask me why bad things happen to good people, i have no answer. I only know this earth is still the same old sinful earth.

Am glad you are healing.

[suepred]

God bless you Larry you gave me a little bit of hope today after a bad one yesterday.I approach the 8 month mark after losing my soul mate my husband Mikey on Sept 15 2011 after a self inflicted gun shot wound to the head also . It is this forum all you people on it and my SOS group and prayer that helps each day. Bad things do happen to good people, but they happen to everyone too Samwong said it very well in his response. peace suepred