My Best Freind's Murder

For friends and family members of people who took the life of someone else before ending their own lives. Issues relating to murder-suicide complicate grief for those left behind, so the need for positive support is significant.

My Best Freind's Murder

Postby IMissYou » Wed Aug 14, 2013 12:31 am

The following post may be difficult for some readers..so please use caution...
this post will be split into two parts...because there is a shocking twist...


This is the story of my best freind murder.....

Part I:My Freinds Murder


On april 12th,2007...two cops would show up on my doorstep for a reason..a reason i will never be able to understand to this very day....

To understand this story better..you have to go back three nights before...


My best freind Russell and i were talking about some show we watched on tv that night...how was i supposed to know that it would be the last day of his and his family's life....


Russell and i had known each other since we were seniors in high school....we were best freinds...We both graduated from high school in 1991 and our freindship grew stronger....We lived near each other for many years...His family was a lot like mine...his father was less then a year older then my father...his sister was a day older then my brother...etc...

Anyways i have known him since i was eighteen years old...almost my entire adult life....So the night after i talked to him. i went to bed...

but i would soon be thrust into a unspeakable hell...that im still trapped in....


I was sleeping..and two homicide dectectives came to the door and informed my father of the horrible news...


As i slept..my father came into my room and told me what had happened....he said"Russell and his family were killed and the cops are here and they want to speak to you"...


Now in my mind..all im thinking is:WHAT THE HELL!!!!...THIS ISNT HAPPENING TO ME!!!!!!!!.....


So..i walked into the living room...and saw the two cops...when one of them said"we are here about your freind and his family...and that we are investigating this as a homicide.....

so they told me what happened that morning...

Russell's father Richard 66...was shot twice in the head at point blank range..his sister Susan age 31 was also shot in the head twice.....

his brother Brett 38,his other sister Cindy 36..and her daughter(Russell's niece) Lisa age 13 were shot and killed as they slept...

After they were shot to death..the house was set on fire....the house was completely destroyed.....


As the cops were telling me this..all i was thinking about was killing myself....

they asked me questions about his family..and stuff....and all i wanted to do at that point was get the hell out of there..and run into my room and never come out....

And just to think..his mother Mildred 60...died from breast cancer in Jan 2003...Im just glad she was not alive to see what would happen to her family....

They did two atopises a day....they said that Rusell was burned so badly that they needed dental records just to identify him...

To this very day..i cant imagine my life without him....

his mother(before she passed away)..told me something that i will never ever forget..she said that if anything ever happened to my folks..i could come live with them..she considered me part of the family....
Russell also told me that i was like a brother to him...


i just wish that i could kill myself and join him :cry:




And now for the second part of this story....once again i advise readers to use caution while reading..there is a shocking twist to this story....

Part II:He Did it.....


Two weeks after this happened...my girlfreind Kelly and i were talking about the murders of my best freind and his family...So i asked her to go to the website so she could read about it...


All of a sudden i came across a article that read:"DNA tests at the crime scene implicates family member"....

So i read the article and wash shocked beyond belief....

The article went on to say that"DNA evidence taken from some glass shards from Brett's bedroom window is a 99.99% match...WITH RUSSELL'S BLOOD!!!!!...


Now after reading this..i didnt know what to think....


the article also said that he was hearing voices....and the weapons used to commit the murders were a shotgun and a rifle..Both were found in his room....

Not only that..but there was a crime scene phto...showing where all the bodies were at the time the murders were commited....


This revalation made a unbearable situation much much worse.....


I dont understand why the closest freind that i would ever have in my entire life would do something like this....


It also turns out that after commiting the murders..that he killed himself....

So it became a murder-suicide..the worst murder-suicide in Shasta County history....

To this very day as i write this..I dont understand it....He was my closest freind..and i just sat back and watched it happen...


The sad truth is i should have never moved away from him...I shouldnt have left him when he needed me the most...I let him down in the worst way possible...


This must have started after his mother's death from breast cancer in Jan 2003...but i never once saw any personality changes in him..he said that on the day of the one year anniversary..that he was okay..that he had come to terms with his mother's death....

Boy was i ever wrong....


At this momment that im typing this...i just want to join him soooo badly.....

i cant handle this..i cant do this anymore...i dont know what to do..i just want to die....Its too late for me...i cant do it anymore... :cry:


by the way...today would have been Lisa's 19th birthday..i miss her sooo much*cries*
iv'e tried so hard to tell myself that your'e gone
but tho your'e still with me
iv'e been alone all along

My Immortal:Evanescence

if you know inside yourself that you are worth a freind to others,then you have life set
Diana Dasliva
2/9/71-8/10/89
IMissYou
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Re: My Best Freind's Murder

Postby briansfolks » Wed Aug 14, 2013 6:04 am

IMissYou,
I'm sorry to learn of what happened to Russell and his family, but there is no way that you need to feel as if you could have prevented this from happening. Not everyone knows exactly what another person is thinking, you cannot be responsible for thoughts or actions of someone else.
I too ask myself if somehow I could have prevented my son's death, or perhaps postpone it by being supportive, but a person gets between and rock and a hard place, and there it goes. True, we will never be the same as before it happened. Yet I search for some type of peace so I can go forward in life without disrespecting my son's memory.
We are all struggling, we can't just all go out and get a haircut and new clothes to start our lives over to feel better after losing someone in this manner. I wish I knew all the answers, but the only thing that seems to help me is becoming exhausted working through the questions and trying to sort it all out. I fear that I will never know why it happened.
One thing for sure is that you are not alone.

Sending you strength for today,
Brian'sDad
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Re: My Best Freind's Murder

Postby IMissYou » Thu Aug 15, 2013 12:33 am

first all all..my heart goes out to for the loss of your son......((((Brian's dad)))))

honestly i dont know how to feel...even tho its been 6 years..it never ends for me....the anniversaries..the birthdays..the holidays(which i dread by the way)....i just dont know what to do about it...most of the time i feel like killing myself not only to escape my own life..but just to be with him and his family
iv'e tried so hard to tell myself that your'e gone
but tho your'e still with me
iv'e been alone all along

My Immortal:Evanescence

if you know inside yourself that you are worth a freind to others,then you have life set
Diana Dasliva
2/9/71-8/10/89
IMissYou
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Posts: 22
Joined: Sun Aug 04, 2013 10:39 pm

Re: My Best Freind's Murder

Postby briansfolks » Thu Aug 15, 2013 5:52 am

IMissYou,

Now you know how deeply this affected you....those of us do understand only when it happens as the feeling cannot be expressed in a conversation or otherwise.
It just isn't fair to those that are affected by suicide. Many people are affected, even those that do not even know them well. Brian has 3 siblings, 3 children, parents, a bunch of cousins,and a bunch of friends, they/we are all affected (messed up is a better explanation) from Brian's death. We are all hurting, we miss him, we long to reunite somehow if possible. It is painful to go places, see things, that he enjoyed without him.
For us to remove ourselves from the pain is the very reason we have lost our loved ones. But for us to remove ourselves from the pain is the very reason we have lost our loved ones is only going to affect more people and let them experience our hurt. Now if the boogieman appears at my front door and threatens me? I probably would laugh at him until he slices me up, as I have lost some fears. I do see my death someday as a graduation from life, yet no plans to rush it along. The pains of losing our son has seasoned me, and I am more aware of sensitivity in others. I don't function as I did before, but I'm trying, and I want to be able to deal with it so it is not on my mind at all times without feeling guilty for being alive. I do not feel responsible for my son's death, but I do hold people responsible, but they are narcissists that don't feel what I feel.
Please take it easy on yourself, you can't fix it by being so hard on you.
James Taylor sings in his song/ Fire and Rain "sweet dreams and flying machines in pieces on the ground", that's my favorite line of the song, kinda sums it up, we can have a magnificent life and then all the sudden...we got ourselves a heck of a problem.
I hope today goes better for you and all the others in our shoes.
Brian'sDad
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briansfolks
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Re: My Best Freind's Murder

Postby IMissYou » Thu Aug 15, 2013 11:26 pm

bruce(cindy's fiance at the time)..came out after it happened...and balmed me for this..he claimed that i drove him to kill his family then himself....

i would even talk to my family about it...but my cousin makde a remark..that i still dont understand to this very day..he said that "oh you should just move on..its not that bad and my own mother even said that"you shouldnt let this wreck your life...

well..its too late for that..because it already has......

when i think about it...he not only murdered his family then killed himself...he also killed me too :cry:
iv'e tried so hard to tell myself that your'e gone
but tho your'e still with me
iv'e been alone all along

My Immortal:Evanescence

if you know inside yourself that you are worth a freind to others,then you have life set
Diana Dasliva
2/9/71-8/10/89
IMissYou
Newbie
 
Posts: 22
Joined: Sun Aug 04, 2013 10:39 pm


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