I am extremely sorry for everything that lead you here. Losing your sister after all you went through must be crushing.
I have not lost anyone to murder and even though I imagine the shock and suddenness is similar to losing my son I can't possibly know the depth of your pain.
The souls here are so caring and I hope you will feel supported and find some comfort here. Many areas have counseling available on a sliding scale and I have seen free counseling through Catholic Charities in some locations. Finding a support group for loss through murder, suicide or myrder/suicide would be another free option that would be worth a search. Counseling is expensive but there are options.
I hope you will tell us about your sister sometime.
My First born, Scott, 6/11/2007 http://www.myspace.com/scottchristiancoffey/photos
The journeyhttp://www.topix.com/forum/city/wapakon ... NR688Q4LV8
I'm so sorry that your father is gone, and that he killed your sister.
A murder-suicide has to be so difficult to deal with on several levels, especially when the person who did it was your own father.
It sounds as if your father was a very troubled man all his life, and as if your family suffered greatly because of his problems. How do you feel about him?
And can you tell us more about your sister?
I'm so so sorry you're going through this. My dad murdered my brother before he killed himself...he was also mentally ill, he was diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic. I was younger than you when it happened - I was eight years old. But I knew I couldn't trust him even at that age. When it happened my mom was in a rehab for alcoholism and she'd given my brothers and I the choice to either live with our father while she was away, or with her friend. My brothers chose our father, I chose my mom's friend because by then I'd learned to hate and mistrust my dad.
It's been 24 years since my dad murdered my brother and killed himself, I've learned to forgive and have healed a lot with time, but it's certainly never something you get "past." And I know what you mean when you say no one understands...but I do. Please contact me if you ever want to talk, I'll try to privately message you my email address.
You're in my thoughts,
My hope is that you and Jessica have connected by private messaging - it seems
she might be a really good person for you to lean on right now.
I'm also very, very sorry for what you and your family have endured. We learn
that life isn't fair, but my hope for you is a wonderful future - to be able to
make for yourself the kind of life you should have always had.
Best regards to you, Dear,
http://www.gratefulness.org "pos" group for Parents of Suicide candles
I was on the search to find an in-person support group that i could possibly afford, and I came across a center called ARTS: A Reason To Survive here in my city. It's an art center for ages 3-22 for people dealing with grief, suicide, physical/sexual abuse, and homelessness. I emailed them and im going in next week for a tour to see which program best fits me, and its non-profit so i dont have to pay anything. I'm really looking forward to that and I sure hope it helps. And Karyl, I'll tell you a little bit about my sister. When she born, my mom knew something wasn't right with her. The doctors thought she was normal, and my mom did alot of research and came across something. This syndrome wasn't very known at the time of her birth, but she has Angelman Syndrome. She was missing the chromosome 15 in her brain. It stopped the development of her brain so even though she lived to be 13, her brain only developed to an 18 month old. She couldn't speak, couldn't walk, she had no gag reflex so she couldn't eat either. She had surgery when she was eight weeks old to put a g-tube in her stomach so she could eat baby formulas and shakes her whole life. She also had epilepsy and cerebral palsy. Even though angelman kids are unable to communicate verbally. they can communicate in other ways. Angelman kids are very well known for being extremely happy. Her smile could light up anyones day, she laughed almost constantly and clapped her hands alot. She loved playing and chewing on baby toys, watching action movies because they excited her so much, and she also did special olympics in my hometown when she was younger. She was also in the program Make a Wish Foundation and Give Kids the World. We were able to take her to Disney World quite a few times and she loved it there, and at Give Kids the World she has her own star there with her name and her born date, which I still want to go visit. She attended public school and the kids and teachers absolutely loved her, she could brighten everyones day just by being there and even had a boyfriend at the time in her special education class. We lived in a small town but at her memorial service, approximately 150 kids/teachers/family and friends attended and shared their love for her. Alot of people say that kids that are born with Angelman Syndrome, that they resemble an angel from God being brought on this earth because of the shine they have and the good they bring into peoples lives. And even though she's gone, I can still feel her shining and her smile burning. I still miss her a lot, I just wish she didn't have to go. I come from a long generation of physical/sexual abuse, four generations so far and my dad, his brother, and one of my brothers is a sociopath. It seemed like a very dark place to grow up in but my sister, Kelsey, brightened our home a little bit and most of those years, I dont know how i would have made it out alive without her. Another reason why it makes it so hard her not being her. I'll try to keep in touch and thank you everyone for your support. <3
and here is a picture of her and i at a childrens hospital about six years ago. She was about to go through some major tests at the hospital but she still had a smile on her face, like always. <3