Dealing with your spouse?

Especially for parents whose sons or daughters died by suicide.

Dealing with your spouse?

Postby AmbersFather » Wed Dec 09, 2015 11:45 am

My wife and I lost our 19 year old daughter on Nov 23rd. My wife had lost two of her sisters (cancer) and her father earlier this year so she has had more than her share of grief. I feel like she is handling the death of our daughter better than I am. She hasn't cried much but does get very sad when we discuss it. We've visited the gravesite three times and she always asks me before we get there "Are you going to cry again?" I just tell her "I don't know" even though I know I will. She seems to want to leave almost right away because I start to cry.

We are very supportive of each other in everything and I'm not criticizing her for what to me seems like her irritation towards me when I cry about our daughter. This upcoming weekend we will be going through our daughter's belongings and sorting what to donate or keep. We did the organ donation so that she could help others. I believe going through her things will be heartbreaking and rip the wound open again (even though it never really closed).

How have you dealt with your spouse after losing a child?
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Re: Dealing with your spouse?

Postby eyez1010 » Wed Jan 06, 2016 1:54 pm

I guess everyone deals differently. I basically raised my children alone it's been almost 18 years that we seperate and 12 that we divorced. So I haven't had much contact except the phone call to let him know his son passed away. He didn't show for the funeral not that I expected him to he's never did much for either child. That being said I have been in a relationship with a very sweet man engaged the last two. I sometimes feel like he expects me to snap out of it. It's only been a little over 2 months and as I feel today I don't think this is something you ever get over. He has no children but I don't think that should make a difference. He knew and got along well with my son Bryan... I told him recently he has a free pass that I would be hurt if he decided this was too much for him and wanted out. He was extremely upset that how could I say that. Honestly I spend most days in a fog crying looking at pictures listening to sad music I wouldn't want to be around me either. The difference is this was my child and I feel he will never feel or want to begin to understand the pain. Maybe your wife has felt so much pain she's become numb.
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