Two weeks after, I found a 'note' in his Skype profile. He started is by saying he was 'Ending all these problems'. That he was a menace to even his closest friends. He apologized twice, said he 'hoped this worked' and if not 'guess he would move on'. I cannot decipher anything from this, and it only raises many more questions. I do know he was drinking but have not received the toxicology or coroners report as of yet.
I am not the person who found him, but as odd as it sounds- I so wish I would have been the one. I'm a need to know kind of person, and I have spent the last month trying to understand any of this. I have gotten into all of his email accounts, his Facebook, Skype account. And of course, no answers- but I now see slot of cries for help, and threats of suicide to online friends. He never showed that side of him to family and friends. This was a complete shock to everyone, and part of me wants to think it was an accident due to a cry for attention- but part of me wants to know this is actually want he wanted. I'm so lost. Thank you for letting me post here, and thank you to everyone for sharing your stories. I am so sorry for EVERYONE who has lost a loved one, especially a child-with OR without any ANSWERS. THANK YOU.
First let me say I'm so very sorry for your loss. I know all to we'll your pain with my Bryan it was the same thing no warning at all. You don't wish you found him it's the worst possible thing a mother can see . My son hung himself from his bedroom door after knocking and finding it locked I started to panic not like him at all. Had to get a screwdriver to get the door open only to realize he was on the other side don't know how I got it open but I did. Then I couldn't get him down at first but I did my beautiful baby was so cold. This something that will stay with me forever I remember the police trying to get me off of him I thought they were pushing me and his face the look on his face..This was October 28th of 2015 and I see this image everyday. Looking back on it I wish I wasn't the one who found him that I could remember my son's beautiful smile and big blue eyes but for now this is all I have . As for the toxicology report it took 6 weeks to get that back I was hoping he had been drinking or something that it was a mistake he didn't mean to but that came back negative too. So all I'm left with is this sadness that threatens to eat me alive I wish I had better optimistic things to say but plz know your not alone.