Leaving a note/Not leaving a note

Especially for parents whose sons or daughters died by suicide.

Re: Leaving a note/Not leaving a note

Postby Peaches406 » Sat Oct 22, 2011 2:58 pm

all my brother left me was a note detailing what to do with his remains and a phone full of attempts to warn his girlfriend. It's been over 6 months and I have done nothing but search for answers. I have my ideas about what pushed him over, as he was open about his suicidal thoughts for years.
The other day I read an article and a quote from the writer hit me with full force. It said " I have become aware that I do not want answers, but to challenge those answers and change the outcome". That is how I truly feel. I just want to tear apart his answers and convince him to stay, but the time for that is no more. I still wish he had left me something, anything, but quite honestly no answer would make this make sense. Take care
Trent Daniel Jones 2/14/90 to 3/31/11 ~ My heart, my love, my life....
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Re: Leaving a note/Not leaving a note

Postby rosiezgirl » Sun Oct 23, 2011 6:44 pm

My son left a note for us. In it he said sorry and told his 3 brothers they had to be strong for me and his Dad. His letter was full of love for us all. We've never doubted that he meant every word but we all have struggled, in our own way, to make sense of his leaving. Sense where there is none...in our logical minds. The note that my son left us is one of my most precious possessions. It's tear stained and roughly scrawled...but it's from my darlin' and I look at it often. On the really dark days that followed his death it brought me right down low....but now 5 years on...I can feel the love in every word and on every teardrop. He didn't want to leave us but he couldn't stay. I wish that things were different for all of us. Life has changed forever and all we can do is wait for the day we'll see our loved ones again.
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Re: Leaving a note/Not leaving a note

Postby cmarie » Mon Oct 24, 2011 8:45 am

Thank you so much for sharing your son's note with us. It reminds me,yet again, of how they didn't feel they had a choice. I think it's important to remember that. My son didn't leave a note, but I think if he did it might have reflected some of the things your son's note did. Thank you.
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always.
As long as I'm living,
My baby you'll be.
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Re: Leaving a note/Not leaving a note

Postby TRmom » Mon Oct 24, 2011 1:38 pm

Thanks so much for sharing it means so much it also helps remind me as well that (they feel there is no other way) and I am going to remember this one as well. (He didn't want to leave us but he couldn't stay). Thank you that helped me so much.
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Re: Leaving a note/Not leaving a note

Postby rosiezgirl » Fri Nov 04, 2011 11:40 am

cmarie wrote:Thank you so much for sharing your son's note with us. It reminds me,yet again, of how they didn't feel they had a choice. I think it's important to remember that. My son didn't leave a note, but I think if he did it might have reflected some of the things your son's note did. Thank you.


You're welcome hun xx
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Re: Leaving a note/Not leaving a note

Postby sam » Fri Dec 16, 2011 1:38 am

I didn't get a note. I wonder what his last thoughts were, his reason for dying. But that being said, I met a mom in group whose son left a note and she still believes her son's death may have been an accident. I don't think a note, no matter how detailed, could possibly explain why a person went against nature's basic instinct to protect oneself. A broken heart? Been there. The loss of someone you love? Yup. Mental illness? That too. So what was so different? Nothing that could ever be explained in a note. A note could never suffice, no matter the detail, the reason, or any sort of sense. Nothing about suicide makes sense. We will search and pray and beg until we find a way to stop. If we find a way to stop. But please close that one door. A note could not answer any more questions. It would only create more.
Sam
(Kyle's mom)
November 10, 1993 - June 24, 2010

~White sparrows fell from heaven and carried him away.~

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Re: Leaving a note/Not leaving a note

Postby Drew48 » Sat Dec 17, 2011 12:21 pm

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Last edited by Drew48 on Mon May 14, 2012 11:10 am, edited 1 time in total.
Better to have loved and lost....than never loved at all....
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Re: Leaving a note/Not leaving a note

Postby john » Sun Feb 05, 2012 4:55 am

My Son left my wife and I a note. He told us he loved us and that it's not our fault. While it doesn't give me answers to all my questions, at least I know he thought lovingly of me at the end.

We had argued the last time we spoke and without the note I would have thought he died being angry with me. I just wish I could have told him I loved him too.
Dad to Dylan, aged 15 Years old (22 Apr 1996 to 18 Jan 2012)
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Re: Leaving a note/Not leaving a note

Postby Bereaved1 » Sun Feb 05, 2012 10:11 pm

John, he knows you love him.
"And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." Anais Nin
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Re: Leaving a note/Not leaving a note

Postby AmbersFather » Tue Dec 08, 2015 4:33 pm

My daughter left a note which read

"Mom and Dad,
You're the greatest. Thanks for everything.

Love,
Amber"
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