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Especially for those who have lost husbands, wifes, boyfriends, girlfriends, or partners to suicide.
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erikamtz
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Post by erikamtz » Mon Apr 18, 2016 1:35 pm

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Last edited by erikamtz on Sat Jan 21, 2017 2:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Hope to be together again...love you

Karyl
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Re: I'm tired...

Post by Karyl » Tue Apr 19, 2016 10:58 am

Erika,

You mentioned that it's been over five years. Can you see light at the end of the tunnel now? How have you changed because of his suicide?

Your dreams - are they helping you process what happened?

erikamtz
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Re: I'm tired...

Post by erikamtz » Tue Apr 19, 2016 5:48 pm

Karyl,

I see light for sure. I'm alive, which is a miracle as far as I'm concerned, so that in itself is light. But because of the constant challenges throughout the past five years, it still feels like I'm struggling to get my life to a point that feels normal again.

I've changed in so many ways. I would say I'm a lot more sympathetic to others, less judgemental, less anal about how to go about life, I'm no longer religious, but ironically feel much more spiritual. I'm stronger, yet much more fragile. It feels good to know parts of me are better than they were before, but I struggle with extreme anxiety about what could go wrong next.

My dreams are more draining than anything. They hurt a lot, but I don't think they help me process anything. I feel like they set me back on the progress I'm always trying to make.

It's a constant uneasy feeling.
Hope to be together again...love you

ketaa
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Re: I'm tired...

Post by ketaa » Tue Apr 19, 2016 6:40 pm

I lost my boyfriend a year ago now. It is brooding and agonizing everyday. Nothing could take it away

erikamtz
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Re: I'm tired...

Post by erikamtz » Wed Apr 20, 2016 11:45 am

Ketaa,

The first year especially is very hard. I found after 1.5-2 years, it was a little easier to breathe. Hold on.
Hope to be together again...love you

ketaa
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Re: I'm tired...

Post by ketaa » Wed Apr 27, 2016 8:39 am

Thank you erikamtz. I'm afraid that I'll get old still feeling like this. Hope everything will get better someday.

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