I FEEL SO ALONE

Especially for those who have lost husbands, wifes, boyfriends, girlfriends, or partners to suicide.

I FEEL SO ALONE

Postby alwaysandforever » Thu Aug 06, 2015 7:59 pm

On October 4th 2012 my life changed forever. I walked into the room as my husband was taking his life. I tried for so long to block it out but doesn't work. Not only did I lose my husband but I had to deal with the loss of 2 of my children and my grandchildren. My daughters decided to blame me for "letting it happen" as if I could have done more. They have stopped talking to me and won't let me see my grandkids. I have tried to reach out to them so many times but all I get is ugly accusations. I don't know what hurts more. I don't have any other family or close friends. The people that I did know have pulled away or whatever you call it. Everyday is just another day of lonliness. I was working full time and it helped. It was still hard listening to my co workers and their plans for the weekend and family stuff they were going to do. Unfortunately I was laid off due to budget cuts. Now I am trying to find another job. I have also tried volunteering and taking classes and things. I just feel like I don't fit in when everyone is caught up in family stuff and I don't have mine. How do I belong? I love my husband and I always will. I just wish my daughters would give me a chance and at least try to understand.. I have gotten counseling and I wish we could all go together. It's my hope and dream to start a support group here in our area where other survivors could meet and find support. I wish there was something like that for me. Thank you for listening. My heart goes out to everyone here.
alwaysandforever
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Re: I FEEL SO ALONE

Postby WifeLess » Sun Aug 09, 2015 9:43 am

alwaysandforever,

In the months following my wife's suicide nearly 6 years ago, I sought out SOS support groups that met in person, and eventually found several in my area using this search page of the AFSP website:

http://www.afsp.org/coping-with-suicide-loss/find-support/find-a-support-group

Although most attending these groups are grieving the loss of a loved one other than their spouse, most often a child, you may nevertheless find value in such a group. So perhaps it is worth checking them out if you have not already done so.

Sorry for your traumatic loss and for the difficulties you have had to face since then.

--- WifeLess
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Re: I FEEL SO ALONE

Postby Karyl » Sun Aug 09, 2015 9:00 pm

Dear Always and Forever,

My heart goes out to you. Losing your husband was tragic. Watching him end his life made it traumatic. And then, being abandoned by your daughters and blamed by them for his decision makes things even more difficult for you.

Unfortunately, when families should stay together to support each other in times of crisis, sometimes, the opposite happens. Past grievances are magnified and barriers are put up.

Can you tell us a little bit about your husband and the day he died?

(And have you thought about getting professional help to help you deal with the trauma of witnessing his death?)
Karyl
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