Their Stuff

Especially for those who have lost husbands, wifes, boyfriends, girlfriends, or partners to suicide.

Re: Their Stuff

Postby cali » Tue Jul 01, 2014 10:45 am

So true there is no "one size fits all" in this grief. We share commonalities, but the details are ours alone. Or hopefully with a little help from our friends. I'm so very sorry for the loss of your brother John.
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Re: Their Stuff

Postby erikamtz » Mon Jul 14, 2014 4:18 pm

I stayed in the house my fiancée and I built for ten months after he died and didn't discard a thing. Call me crazy, but I couldn't even move his boots from where he removed them beside the front door. I wore his shirt, day and night, for weeks. I never used our bedroom again after that. The day I moved out was one of the hardest days of my life and I made the very hard decision to leave our home exactly the way it was. His clothes were still in the closet, in the drawers. His toiletries were still in the bathroom and our furniture stayed put. With the exceptions of a few clothing items and the dining table, I left it all. I felt as though I had to leave it like that in order to truly move on, but while I was there I couldn't just get rid of him more than he was already gone. I had to "keep him around" as much as I could. I had to leave the place totally in order to get away from anything that was his.

I think the process is different for everyone. Good luck and let me know if you need to talk.
Hope to be together again...love you
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Re: Their Stuff

Postby JohnFromPA » Wed Nov 19, 2014 1:51 pm

Surprised,

It has only been 22 days since my girlfriend took her own life. We shared an apartment. I took sick days for the rest of the week and I was in there the very next day organizing and going through her things. I'm glad I did it that way, too, because I felt this instinctive push to keep busy. I'm sure I was still in shock (even though she had attempted suicide before), but I needed to DO something...anything. I felt a little uneasy in the bedroom (the location of her suicide), but again, I felt like I had to do this. I'm still in the "need to keep busy" phase and find myself trying to find things to occupy my time now that her things have gone to her parents. But I certainly did keep a number of things that meant a lot to both of us.
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