Just lost my brother

Especially for those who have lost a sister or brother to suicide

Just lost my brother

Postby Zuessjune » Sun Jun 21, 2015 7:48 pm

I am new to this board. My brother committed suicide on Monday. It was his birthday. Today I can't stop crying. I've been staying strong for my family and it all hit me today - it is my son's birthday today (he has the same name). I can't stop thinking that there is something I could have done. He didn't leave a note or anything. I just want to know why. I just want someone to talk to right now who understands. Thanks. -Zuess
Zuessjune
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Re: Just lost my brother

Postby Mum61 » Sun Jun 21, 2015 9:06 pm

Hi Zuessjune, I'm so, so very sorry for your lost and I can feel your pain so deeply. My husband ended his life nearly two years ago and I can tell you we are still struggling every day, this comes and goes like a huge wave but we are much better than those early days. Having a very close, loving family helps a lot.
What I'm trying to tell you is that it will get easier, your life will never be the same but you will survive and one day you will remember your brother as he was in life. You must be so confused and in shock right now, we all go through the same feelings/reactions and I really feel for you. When I look back at those early days I can't believe nearly two years have gone and we are still here, we are still strong and we have survived so far.
Please take care of yourself and again, things will get easier with time even though you just can't even imagine that right now.
Sending you my love.
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Re: Just lost my brother

Postby Cschwab » Mon Jun 22, 2015 1:04 am

I feel your pain and emotional breakdown of tears, questions and what ifs.
My brother took his life oct 23-12. It seems like yesterday especially on special occasions. I find his birthday (June 25) and his dying day the darkest to deal with.
The pain for me never goes away, I am still learning how to deal with the loss of my younger brother. We are forever changed by suicide and I try to focus on the positive side of my brothers life and memories. He was mentally ill (depressed with addictions) and I wish I could have taken his pain away as I know you would do the same for your brother. My heart understands your pain ;(. Hugs to you.
It doesn't go away......we just adapt
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Re: Just lost my brother

Postby Zuessjune » Mon Jun 22, 2015 5:34 am

Thank you both for listening and sharing your personal story. It helped a lot. I'm sorry for both of your losses. You described everything I am going to and it is just such a different type of death. I am really trying to believe he is at peace and in a better place. It's just so sudden and so shocking. Thank you both again.
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