almost four years

Especially for those who have lost a sister or brother to suicide

almost four years

Postby 01012011 » Mon Dec 22, 2014 10:32 pm

It has been a long while since i have visited here..So so tired tonight..which brings out the saddest of times,,,especially this time of year...Christopher will be gone four years this New Years...the last time I got go hug him was Christmas day..if i had one wish..i would like to go back in time to hug him one more time.I lost a part of me that I will never recover. Sure I move on..three grandbabies...wonderful job...fabulous friends. .but there isn't a day that I don't think of Christopher..my sadness will never go away....I am glad to have loved him..and still love him as I do...I am tired of people telling me to get over it. I won't..and I don't want to. HOLD ON TO YOUR PRECIOUS MEMORIES OF YOUR LOVED ONES. Love them until the day you die. I have finally realized it is ok to be sad..it is ok to miss them...it is hard to understand why in so many ways.. Life goes on..for some of us in our special club..its a different life..we exist...but we still love...Merry Chrismiss to all...I know its a hard time.. but it is comforting I can still come here to feel understood
Perhaps they are not stars in the sky, but rather openings where our loved ones shine down to let us know they are happy. Sister of Christopher Arthur
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Re: almost four years

Postby auntyjuju » Tue Jan 06, 2015 8:40 pm

Oh Lady , im to assume your a lady right? I so get what your saying about about people urging you on to get over it, I say "I ME will be over it when I'm over it KAPEESH ? Franckly I will never get over my dear brother trying to take his own life in November 2014. I can not face the prospect that he took his own life, he would never do that to us, he was pushed there, he was psychotic because he stopped boozing 3 bottles of whisky a day to nothing just like that ! This is a dangerous way to stop drinking that amount which resulted in a psychotic episode. Police found him in the road took him to the psychy unit he wasput under vigialant supervisaion 'vigialant' my arse! 2 hours later my poor simon who they should of treated him with care and expertise did not do this. They said they had made an assessement of his mental state, deemed him suicidal , he slashed his neck with a pen that they gave to him along with a large peice of paper, he then removed his boots and took out the laces they asked him what are you going to do with those simon he relied " I wont to die" They said he was suicidaL, but they give him a pen and a sheet of paper, he slashed his neck with pen , he gave them his boots and laces and both the members of staff left simon alone for mor than 12 mins by which time simon took a large peice of paper and shoved it right down the back of his airways, the staff panicked called the paramedics simon than had a heart attack which he survived the paramedics arrived too k over the cpr then took him to a general hospital in the intensive care unit. if we had wanted simon to live he would of been a vegetable, he would absolutely not of wanted to live in this way. So in the end his real saving grace was that he had the beginnings of pnuemonia. So it was decided that he not be given antibiotics and we'll allow for him to slip away like that. They call Pnuemonia ' The olds peoples friend" Its a nice gentle painfree way to slip off to another dimension. That was his saving grace really because had he not had it the only other way was to take him of all fluids and nutrients and starve him basicaslly untill he died. How bloody undignified. Strength to you my darling girl.
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