It was a week ago

Especially for those who have lost a sister or brother to suicide

It was a week ago

Postby grievingsoul » Wed Nov 12, 2014 12:43 am

a very close cousin decided to take her life after being sick for so many years ..in an out of hospitals....and which i think lead to depression.

i have so many emotions inside me all jumbled up

sad, angry, fear

sad because of the way she has died. i would probably be or more accepting if it was natural death.
angry at myself for not caring enough or not having the emotional and mental capacity to care for her.
angry of the way she ended her life .
angry at my inability to love her to the fullest even though i do love her.
angry at her stubbornness through the whole period of her being sick and not adhering to our advice or what the doctors tell her.
angry because of what or religious faith has laid out implications based on her actions.

fear about my own life.

i want to move on from this and i try do to so but a lot of people around me are sad about this and i don't want to be selfish when they come to me about it. then i start feeling sad. my grief comes in waves . it comes it goes. it comes it goes. when it goes i feel good. when it comes i just feel worried about everything .
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Re: It was a week ago

Postby auntyjuju » Tue Jan 06, 2015 7:51 pm

I lost my brother in November and I relate to every one of your points. all I can say is that the feelings we are having are all part of the greif that we're going through. Its such a crazy ride we're on. I can spend 4 days feeling numb and then I feel guilty for feeling that numbness and ask myself "why arent you in a heap on the floor like you were the other day?" There really are no hard and fast rules as to how you should feel or act, there is no formula to greiving it just is what it is. Just go with however your feeling for that day. Its good to console others aswell as long as they understand that you may also need to be concoled also. I feel for you my friend. Im always here if you want a chin wag. Take care pal.
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