I don't think I will ever understand

Especially for those who have lost a sister or brother to suicide
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I don't think I will ever understand

Post by BrownGirl1 » Fri Jan 31, 2014 1:53 pm

I wish I knew why my sister did what she did but I will never know. She did not leave a note or did I see any signs of her wanting to die. If I knew this is what she was thinking I would have been there more or have tried to do something to help her. However, the last time she attempted suicide was not her 1st attempt. It was her 3rd. All three times she attempted I was the one who found her. I don't understand why it was me and why I couldn't save her. It has taken me years to finally realize that I won't ever know why she did it and even if I had saved her on that day she could have tried it again another time. I miss her so much and hate the month of February. Everyone always tells me that god only gives you what you can handle but I don't want to handle this and never will, so why is he making me deal with it?

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Re: I don't think I will ever understand

Post by heather » Thu Feb 13, 2014 10:22 am

Hi honey,

I am so sorry for your loss, I lost my sweet brother and he didn't leave a note and left us in December 2010. I wanted to tell you that I think trying to be o.k. With "Not knowing why" for me brought me some peace in this nightmare. Only God knows because he know every hair on our heads....good luck sister friend. Sending you warm thoughts of light and love.

Brent A. Crawford May 2, 1976 - December 8, 2010

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Re: I don't think I will ever understand

Post by angela092402 » Mon Dec 01, 2014 4:22 am

After all of these years, I have realized that I was angry and was angry for not knowing why. I've come to a peaceful place by by compassionate , caring and loving about his choice to end his life. I still try to hold his memory, his name, in high honor. I celebrate his birthday with my children and it has been 19 years since he has been gone. It stings, it hurts, I was angry however I eventually found peace in respecting his choice out of my unconditional love for him. I hope this is helpful, I send my heart and love to you. All of my love, Angela

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