Worst 17 months of my life

Especially for those who have lost a sister or brother to suicide

Worst 17 months of my life

Postby jledwards23 » Tue Dec 18, 2012 3:38 am

these past two years have really been hard on me. On 7/11/11 I found my twin sister. She had hung her self the night before i found her. She was only 23 years old. I jus can't believe she didnt let me know anything no note or call nothing. The last time i saw her that night she seemed fine and i thought everything was ok, i guess it wasnt but she was real good at hiding her feelings. It was hard on the whole family and, it was even harder explaining to others what happened. People just want to know but i jus didnt know how to come out and say she killed herself. After my twin sister past away I was gratefull to atleast have my baby sister(who is 20yrs old). That summer we hung out more I went to her b-ball games and everything seemed to be getting better. The day after Thanksgiving(11/24/12) I got a call that I never wanted to get. My mother called me and told me that my lil sis also hung herself and took her life as well. At this point I couldnt think straight. How does this happen to me and why? I'm now trying to deal with this but its very hard. I'm trying to be strong but i feel like I some how let both of them down. I just don't understand how both of my sisters are gone they were so young and full of life still. At first I thought about dying but now after losing both of my sisters I feel like I have to live and keep pushing for them. I don't want to live without them but I know I have to and it breaks my heart.
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Re: Worst 17 months of my life

Postby psyquestor » Tue Dec 18, 2012 10:33 am

(((Hugs))) I am very sorry that you have lost your sisters. This is a wonderful group of compassionate people, who have all lost someone they love to suicide. We understand some of what you're feeling, in a way that few others do. My name is Tammy and in 2008 my son Brian died by suicide. He also hung himself. I'm glad you've found this place of comfort, it really helped me get through the worst of my grief.

Post when you are able and please know that we care.
Tammy
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I thought I would lay down and die after losing my Son to suicide.
Instead I chose to fight the monster that killed him.
http://www.afsp.org

Hold On, Pain Ends
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Re: Worst 17 months of my life

Postby jledwards23 » Wed Dec 19, 2012 7:03 pm

Thanks Tammy for a reply. and YES it is nice to know I am not alone and there are others like me that understand my pain.
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Re: Worst 17 months of my life

Postby BKB » Wed Dec 19, 2012 7:15 pm

jledwards23: I think we have met in another forum. I just wanted to say hello and that I'm glad you have found your way to people who can empathize with you. Big hugs!
For those who understand, no explanation is necessary; for those who don't, none will do....Anonymous
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Re: Worst 17 months of my life

Postby alwaysatwin » Fri May 09, 2014 11:56 pm

I can only imagine how devastating it must be to loose both of your siblings...and in the worst way possible. I lost my twin sister to suicide a year ago and it is still almost unbearable. There's a feeling like I shouldn't be here without her. The phrase that keeps popping into my head is "game over." I still go to work everyday and am able to function fine and do what I need to do but I don't ever just have fun anymore. It feels wrong. Would love to talk to you privately. It's been so hard to find people who have also lost a twin to suicide. Message me?
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Re: Worst 17 months of my life

Postby Berna » Mon May 12, 2014 7:20 am

jledwards23,
I'm so incredibly sorry for your pain. Can you tell us about your sisters? Please know this was in no way your fault, if you could've helped you would have done everything you could. My son died by suicide also, the hardest thing I find is,not ever having an answer to why, and why did't he ask for help. The only thing I come up with is he held too much inside. Please know you are in all our prayers and that you are not alone. If you are not comfortable telling people who ask, how did this happen, just say your not ready to talk about it. I don't tell many people, they never know what to say. How are your parents doing? Take one day at a time, that's all you can do.
Many, many peaceful blessings to you,
B
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Re: Worst 17 months of my life

Postby jledwards23 » Wed May 28, 2014 1:25 pm

yes!;-)@ALWAYSATWIN i wud luv to talk to u anytime ur free
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